How do you change a behavior you don’t like?
There are lots of things we do in life that we know we shouldn’t do – anything, from shoplifting to smoking to eating the wrong foods – but often it’s difficult to stop ourselves from doing them.
Why to we do these things? That’s one for the ages. Better we spend our time trying to figure how how not to do them.
Have you successfully changed a behavior you didn’t like? Please share your experiences in the comments section.
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changing behavior… classicly it’s done with negative and positive re-enforcement… and re training the mind counceling or theropy… (this is how it’s done in the prison system, minus the coulseling and theropy) so i’d say by re-training the mind/thought processes
According to Alan Kazdin, one of the best child psychologists around, you can change a behavior using positive reinforcement and it never hurts to use a reward system. I think this system can be applied to adults as well. If you can get through the day without doing the “undesired behavior”, reward yourself! It doesn’t have to be anything huge, even a phone call (an UNINTERRUPTED phone call) to your best friend can be a huge reward.
I found that with the kids, it took about two weeks and the undesired behaviors disappeared!
I like the positive reinforcement/reward idea. (Unfortunately, I personally would probably end up rewarding myself with something worse.)
The only way I can change behavior I don’t like is through repetition. Every month I start on the first of the month putting one thing in my daytimer I want to change and then I rewrite it in my book EVERY DAY for the month and then I write it on a sticky note and attach it to my bathroom mirror…and then I put a small circular furniture protector on my steering wheel so when I look at it I know why. It is proven and if you can follow through like anything else it works!
Persistence and patience are the key for me. It’s easy to revved up by New Year’s committment style change, but the enthusiasm wanes and once you’ve let yourself down once it’s easy to give up. But if you are patient (ie – kind and encouraging) and willing to progress slowly you will eventually see change.
Bravo Kate and Wendy! Persistence and patience seem to be sorely lacking these days…
Oh no, my mind is drifting. Excuse me, I need to go do something else.