What Should You Do If You Catch Your Teenager Drinking?
Not As I Do
For me, the issue of teenage drinking is one of those “double standard” parenting dilemmas, because it’s something I felt was okay when when I was a teenager, but isn’t okay for my kids. (What was that thing about ‘do as I say’?)
It Creeps Up On You
The problem, for me at least, is that one minute they’re playing with trucks, and the next thing you’ve just found a six pack stashed in their closet. Then, you find yourself asking two questions. First, it’s ”How’d that just happen?”, and second, “What do I do now?”.
The Conversation
This is when you need to reach out to parents who’ve been in this situation and have figured out reasonable ways to handle it. (I have the sense that “freaking out and drinking the beer yourself” isn’t one of them.) If you’ve “been there, done that” with your kids, please share…
The Podcast…
Podcast: Download
As a bachelor, I enjoy listening to my friends who are parents pull the hair out of their heads over such issues…
A friend’s son got kicked out of his college dorm for smoking pot. Here is an out take of the conversation: “Dad, you did the same thing!!!” DAD, SPEAKING IN HIS HEAD: “Well I never got caught!!!”
We were cracking up at the dinner table after hearing that one…
Classic!
Take everything away…car, phone, computer games (leave computer for homework but have kid do all computer work in same room as you) Let kid slowly earn back your trust by doing extra chores…slop the pigs, clean the stalls, whitewash the fence, etc. If you don’t have a farm, throw the trash loosly around the back yard and make the kid pick it all up by hand, no gloves. Clean the toilet and the bathroom floor with a toothbrush. Have kid dig a hole in backyard, 6 feet deep. Have kid fill hole back in. Have kid change your car oil. Have kid snake out the plumbing. Make work for kid, and lots of it.
Don’t drink in front of kid from now on. Have all house alcohol under lock and key. ( I have to keep alcohol in the house for cooking, but she doesn’t associate this alcohol with drinking. As she gets older I will lock it up.)
The last thing kid should earn back is the car. Yes you have to suck it up and drive kid to work, but have kid put all income in bank, no spending money. Bank money is for college.
If you ever catch kid drinking again, take away everything for good, until kid is out on own. Then it isn’t your problem anymore.