This question comes from comes from Erik: “My 21 month old son … loves to throw his food while sitting in his high chair. I’m sick and tired of finding food all over the dining room wood floor. So what do [I] do? Need some answers … Debating whether or not to break out the flip video for proof. ”
I totally get Erik’s dilemma – it seems as though the second my kids got the hang of ingesting their food, they moved on to the considerably more entertaining act of propelling their food.
Have YOU experienced this conundrum? (Or, more importantly, did you find a solution that actually worked?!?)
Brad Williams says
So…. Based on the developing Facebook string, you can see how you can count on me NOT to speak to the serious side of the issue (which it certainly can be) and solicit more of the same. Ha!
But all kidding aside, this does raise the issue of parental response… I do remember how my mother used to react when we accidentally spilled our milk at the table – she made us feel like total idiots (GUILT TRIP!).
So, in thinking about any response to ‘ill-mannered’ behavior on the part of children (who by the way have no idea what they are doing is parentally ‘wrong’ at the age of -2), the parent must consider the magnitude of the response in conjunction with the magnitude or intent of the behavior. Fear and guilt are certainly not the best emotions to foster in a young child as they linger for MANY years.
It is also interesting to consider how we (‘adults’) look at a child’s behavior through our ‘grown-up’ eyes and the expectation is for children to be adults. I say, let them be children now for if we do not, they will grow up to be pretty boring people! If they continue to throw food into their toddler, pre-teen, and teen years – you can be sure that their peer group (not parents) will be the ones to give them the look – “WTF”. This too shall pass and never forget that we were all children once (and hopefully many of us still have a good deal of child in us still)!
Now, the image of the infant w/ the harness….. a topic unto itself!
Bruce says
I love your thoughts on “fear and guilt”, Brad – thanks!
As for the Facebook thread, yes, it’s gotten a bit raucous;
http://www.facebook.com/bruce.barber/posts/107920135957832
(I wouldn’t have it any other way…)
Michele says
This is easier said that done, but patience pays off.
It is likely that he starts to throw his food around once he is full. Of course, being good parents, we want him/her to finish their plate – but he knows whether or not he is full or not.
Here is what I suggest, and it may not work the first time, but it will work once the “consequences” have sunk in. So be patient: at the fist sign of throwing food, first do not get mad, do not yell, and do not loose your cool. (As Brad suggested, no name calling or guilt trips.) Calmly but firmly say “no”, then say dinner must be over. and remove all the food.
Sure he’ll fuss, but remove it anyway and go on to the next event of his day. Playing, reading, bathing, etc. Do this each meal that the throws food. Remove the food immediately, and do not give it back until the NEXT meal time. Soon he will get the picture that if he wants to finish his meal, he shouldn’t throw it, and if he is no longer getting laughs from other family members, he won’t be tempted to do it for attention. If he received negative attention in the past when throwing food, from you or other family members, well even negative attention is better than no attention. So the less attention he gets when throwing food, he will become bored with it and stop.
He may try throwing food first thing, before he has had his fill, so he can relive the attention he was getting from throwing the food in the first place. Remove it anyway. Even if you think he is still hungry at that point. I guarantee, next meal he won’t throw his food He’ll eat all of it.
Following these instructions should resolve this problem in about 3 days
Bruce says
You’ve done a nice job of presenting another way to handle the situation, Michele: setting limits.
You and Brad both make excellent points. I suppose that in the end, it all comes down to the individual child/circumstances…
DorisC says
If he throws his food, start to feed him with a spoon one piece at a time yourself. This is a game for him, and it’s fun. If the throwing continues, end the meal, and try again later.
Sandie Apuzzo says
Don’t pick it up and give him more. It will become a game. Remove him from the chair for a bit and clean up the mess, and ask him if he’s ready to eat his meal nicely. Make sure you sit with him while he’s eating, he might need food AND your attention
Kim (mother of 4) says
Put a shower curtain under the chair. 🙂