“…and what are they?” wonders guest editor and New York Times columnist Mark Oppenheimer. (I became a huge fan of Mark’s when he wrote “It’s a Wonderful Block“. about the Westville section of New Haven.)
In particular, Mark wanted to discuss the proper attire for men at weddings these days. (Mark doesn’t feel the Oakleys-over-the-baseball-cap look favored by Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights falls into this category.)
What do you think: Are there rules for clothing any more?
Holly Adam says
Oh Mark….Location, location, location!
Appropriate attire for a wedding? Certainly a six in the evening NYC wedding requires quite different attire than a four o’clock wedding on Nantucket. If your sartorial selections are severly limited, a dark suit will work for all (as well as memorial services and funerals!). Just adjust your shirt and tie to the occasion: celebratory, “happy” colors vs somber and subtle. If your closet overfloweth, then a navy blazer (even better, a colored or patterned one) and tropical weight charcoal trousers (or “good” khakis or ivory gabardine) will cover morning through late afternoon, and into the evening for beachside nuptials. Black tie self explanatory, and some will simply ignore that, much to the chagrin of the bride, and don the trusty dark suit. It’s Her Day, just buck up and rent the tux.
As for rules in general, I tend to ignore most of them. Been known to wear black cashmere and white jeans mid-winter. Then again, I’ve been at this “fashion gig” for over thirty years and dance to the beat of my own drum. I firmly believe that you should trust your gut, find clothes that make you feel confident, colors that you love, and stick with them. And if your gut is not “trustworthy”, I’d be happy to help. (I did spend ten years in the men’s business advising a major department store national chain about men’s fashion, so I am well equipped to assist in your challenge!)
Good Luck!
webguygary says
what are the rules for the usage of an ascot?
Bruce says
Always appropriate. (Especially if you’re “in the theatre”.)
Holly Adam says
Hmm… that’s a tough one.
To have even asked the question, you are either pulling my leg or quite confident with your personal style! I say a cocktail/dinner party-or a famous horse race across the pond, or an afternoon polo match-are appropriate venues. As a sophisticated replacement for a neck-tie, an ascot adds color and fills the space of an open necked shirt (but not TOO open). Can be worn with a shirt and sportcoat or a shirt and sweater….and once you get accustomed to it, experiment with color and pattern.
I applaud your sartorial confidence, Gary….unless you are, in fact, pulling my leg!
Bruce says
I suspect (no wait, I’m sure) Gary was pulling your leg – but that’s a great answer, nonetheless…
webguygary says
c’mon Bruce, I’m in search of a new look. maybe I’ll sport bow ties and smoke a pipe…you never know, it could work.
Bruce says
In all seriousness… you could make an ascot work!
(The bow tie, not so much.)
webguygary says
I saw someone wearing one at a wedding a couple of years ago – I think you have to be older to make it work & look dignified.
I think when it comes to dressing for weddings, it’s about respecting the ceremony. If it’s a big wedding in a cathederal, and you show up in an Izod & boat shoes, it’s a fail. If the wedding is on a boat, then casual attire might seem more appropriate.
Holly Adam says
Gary, I expect to see you sporting an ascot at Tennis @ Yale in August…..with your Izod (can’t you at least do Lacoste?) and boat shoes……
Kim Grehn says
Okay…maybe I’m being too obvious. You could always ask the couple what they think is appropriate.
webguygary says
Holly – my appearances @ The New Haven Open are usually as a photographer/videographer, so it’s all about Hawaiian shirts and Chuck Taylor Hi-Tops, the official uniform of shutter-bugs world-wide.
duo says
My homies are saying:
Dress code is now per person, not per event, per location, per job.
Stay at home work, loss of job security, loss of socially-mandated gender roles, class expectations, more meritocracy in education, and social recognition, (versus legacy, racial, gender pref stereotyping) means anything goes.
…but black is never “wrong”.