One of the leading causes of awkwardness these days seems to be the art of figuring out what’s appropriate – especially if you hadn’t been thinking about the subject just before you encounter someone.
I’ve noticed recently that right before I greet a member of the opposite sex, my brain is forced into overdrive to process the level of social intimacy I should/should not bring to the greeting.
Hence, this question for your consideration: When you greet someone: handshake, hug, or kiss?
Regina says
Hi Bruce, it depends on who it is….
No handshaking unless it’s a business thing. That’s just awkward and formal. For someone you don’t know well but are happy to see a nice, genuine smile and a “great to see you” works. For a casual friend…a kiss on the cheek, and/or a light hug is good.
This is just me though…a lot of the wives of my husbands softball buddies tend to kiss everyone but that’s not my thing.
Kim Grehn says
I think I am hopelessly old school. I was brought up to shake hands. My kids hug all the time. So…is it a generational thing?
The kiss is so continental. I guess that would be cultural.
Page says
We social dancers have found a few ways to deal with this that might be helpful. The old etiquette books say gentlemen should shake hands only if the lady extends her hand first. Similarly, the lady on the dance floor sets the distance from the gentleman based on her comfort level. These rules of following the lady’s lead could apply to more affectionate greetings as well – assuming the gentleman welcomes whatever she may send his way!
But if not, and for anyone who just prefers a handshake, extending your hand early on can be a proactive but graceful way to set your distance from those who may be more affectionate than you want them to be. Adding a left-hand clasp (making sort of a hand sandwich) or a light squeeze on the forearm can add extra warmth in lieu of an embrace.
Another option is sort of a side-by-side half-hug (think football huddle) that works well with close friends and more affectionate types. This is more hygienic than a full-on hug or a quick kiss – and a good strategy during the annual flu scare which is yet another cause for awkwardness!
These last two options can be modified or even combined in a split second to work well with anyone in any situation so you can always do what feels comfortable for you. Good luck!
joe the builder says
Hi Bruce, blast from the past here, “papa”says “hi”… in any and all situations I always extend my hand in a handshake, but when it is not “business related” I turn my hand slightly upward, so the person extending lays theirs slightly down and in. Very less formal, but intimate enough to show acknowledgement of their presence and gender. To me, just saying “HI” is what you do when someone walks past you at the Dunkin’ donuts counter (: